My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline
A. So what's your question?
What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's
husband knows what's good for him.
banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom
had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying
a "mail order" bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the
rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom
the age of his new bride to be. Tom proudly said, "She'll be twenty-one
in November." Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see
that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an
eighty-year-old man. Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy
the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired
hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.
Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.
About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's
the new wife?" asked the banker. Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."
The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And
how's the hired hand?" Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."
pregnant lady was in an accident and she woke up in the hospital. She noticed
she was not pregnant anymore and asked the nurse what happened to her baby.
The nurse said, "You have two healthy babies, a boy and a girl!" The lady
said, "Oh, I must name them," but the nurse said, "You were unconscious,
so we called your brother, and he named them!" The lady said, "But
he's as dumb as a box of rocks! So what are their names?" The nurse
said, "The girl is called "Denise." The woman replied, "Well that is a
pretty name, so what did he name my boy?" The nurse replied, "Denephew!"
How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided